Evening Will Come: A Monthly Journal of Poetics (NSFW—Issue 45, September 2014)

Dawn Lundy Martin
Queer Humiliations


I let the white    stick his    in me, he said let’s      so I said OK, yeah, so we did like old        of     , and                    and I was like, yeah, fuck me. We were drunk, too, so I really wanted him to      harder and his skin                 I wasn’t repulsed by his    hair,     , not like wire, or resin, or fish like some boys, who smell like mold. So we were            a long while, with me        lazily, and      open. It felt good, but I was bored, too,      , and I liked          drunk because I was in and out of consciousness so who cares.              and my legs are hanging off the bed and        is   ing me some more, and I feel this     to get filled up with     , a desire I rarely if ever have     like I’m not like, hey     pour some    into me, but           I said, sure. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I feel like               , even though he likes        me like this, and he is grunting softly like a baby ape. I think hours    . I don’t really feel like a girl, but I don’t feel like a boy either. Feels    really gay   . Oh yeah, at some point his finger is     , which makes me get up and      cause it’s not really going in. The next day, my        is sore, but I don’t mind, because I        . At the time, though, I got     again, and wanted to do something      because no one is    ing, we’re just                   can’t stop.         At some point I try to     him off but this is unsuccessful, so he     me some more and then we sleep and we don’t even     until morning a tiny bit.


They way they try to fuck you in your black magic pussy, the way they get their dicks in that black magic pussy and say, yes, bitch, and then fucking black bitch. To feel the resonance of space around you, some thing between you and this other body so close to you and then an inch of breath around your body— You imagine another body rocking in a small closet. Your is head covered. Your head is in your hands. He takes you to the basement, a mattress on the floor, some blankets once damp, and on your hands and knees you go. All the light is sucked out of the room as if the room is placed inside a tin box. The world and all of experience, all worry, everything, shrinks to the size of a pinhole. Poof. In doll porn the woman lies flaccid until propped up. Her limbs must be moved by her user. Her eyes, unblinking, immobile. Classic niggra of our fuck play! You drive your car the 30 minutes to this basement two times in the same week. All the chaos of the world, the shopping lists, checkbooks, and exams. You have something we all need. You are saving us from ourselves, and you from yourself. Answer to our prayers.